To Tile or Not to Tile – Letter 2

Mack,

It certainly has been quite a while. Its been so long, its hard to remember what caused the rift between the two of us in the first place.

Oh. Oh, wait. It was that time that you not only insulted my life’s work but attempted to butcher my creativity by forcing me to leave my area of expertise. The Glorious High-Five is to forever be respected as the ultimate sign of hope, love, destruction and success. I am very much blessed to have been given the ability to convey the High-Five in such a way that it displays the awesome power of this spectacular action.

You broke my heart, Mack. As kin, I expected you to understand my extremely strong feelings towards The High-Five on the family medium-of-choice, tile. When you told me that we should “expand our horizons” it was like you punched me in the throat and told me my son threw like a girl. YOU KNOW HE WAS BORN WITH MISSHAPEN SHOULDERS, HE CAN’T THROW ANY OTHER WAY!

If you are in fact apologizing for your actions, your apology is accepted. However, I still hate you. I am, at this point, not entirely ready to bury the hatchet and may require more groveling before I decide to honor you with being your best man. I am going to need to know more about this female you’ve grown fond of, as well, before I give you my consent to marry her. I’m sure you understand.

Just so you know, the business has flourished. I have now added a few, more intense animals to my repertoire and will send you a sketch or two if you are still interested.

Please respond quickly, I don’t have all the time in the world, you know.

Sincerely,
Steve

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