The Worst Disease Ever – Letter 9

Dr. Chiribada,

 Forgive me for being crass, but I can’t take this crap any longer. Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at once? Given how I feel right now, I’m convinced that the answer is yes and this tears me apart in a very figurative way. If only I could have both the love and current marriage of my wife and the understanding and down-dirty freakiness of Penelope. Is that too much to ask for? Well, combining your idea and mine, it may not be.

 Do you recall the amount of times Fonzie dated two girls at once? On my count it was four if you count the Aloha Pussycats (and why wouldn’t you?). He even dated 2 sets of triplets! Well if the Fonz could get three SISTERS to date him at once, certainly some average Joe wearing that magical suit of armor known as Fonzie’s jacket could handle TWO UNRELATED gals. RIGHT?!

 I’m going to do it, Dr. Chiribada. I’m beginning to plan now and should be ready to pull the job off within a week. If you have any suggestions for me before I go, make sure to get back to me quickly. If not, the next time you talk to me, I’m going to be the coolest, least-plumaged dude this side of Arnold’s Diner.

God speed,

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