The Open Road – Letter 7

Mr. Miller,

Continually being handcuffed to the passenger seat of this truck is starting to piss me off. Dan had me sleep in the truck last night out of fear that I would beat him in the face with my fists. I must say that he is beginning to catch on to my repeated threats of assault. Good for him.

He woke up God knows how early to begin the 12 hour haul from Albuquerque, New Mexico to Hollywood. We arrived about an hour ago and have been sitting in the truck, pulled over into the shoulder on the Hollywood Freeway, amidst all the litter and broken dreams.

Dan has been thinking of the best move to make next. His first idea was to drive over to Paramount Studios with an outline for his screenplay (titled trucKING Royalty), and “naturally assume shooting would start later that day.”

Now I may not be some Hollywood Star, but I sincerely doubt that all it takes to get a major motion picture studio to begin work on your 1-page screenplay outline is to “show up in a truck and let nature take its course,” as Dan mentioned. I attempted to convince him of this, but it’s no use. I only temporarily halted this embarrassing moment while Dan ponders the best place to park Barbara in Hollywood while he gets us suits to show up in.

Another idea of his is to meet up with some of his “Halo buddies” (apparently it’s some video game. GOD, does everything have to be about “buddies” with this guy?!). There’s a tournament in LA tonight, and apparently you can win money by playing this video game. He assures me that many of Hollywood’s social elite are also addicted to this game, so while there he can network and get his screenplay in the hands of a studio executive.

As much as I bitch and complain about this situation, I must admit that I have a small, small hope in the pit of my stomach that this movie deal will actually go through. Dan has stated he’ll split the money 50/50 with me. That cash would be great. And plus, the whole idea of being a famous movie star ain’t bad either.

Who knows what’ll happen next. But even if I get rich thanks to Dan, I’m still gonna punch the little prick in the neck for handcuffing me to this seat. At least the last buddy film he showed was Some Like it Hot. That Norma Jeane’s quite the looker.

– Eddie

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