Eddie’s been working at the studio for over a week and STILL no one has asked him to pitch his movie idea! It must be the economy. Since when can’t a guy get a job as a security guard and be able to openly discuss all his amazing ideas with all the high-ranking executives of the company? WHAT KIND OF WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN?!
I think it’s time we took matters into our own hands. We’re sneaking into the offices tomorrow night and replacing every script with trucking Royalty. It’s simple, really. I’ll dress up as Orlando Bloom in The Lord of the Rings (the most epic buddy flick ever) and Eddie will dress up as Burt Reynolds because that’s the only thing he can pull off with that mustache. Once we’re allowed into the studio because of our celebrity status, we’ll go through every office in the building and replace every script with ours.
Once we’re done, we’ll sit back and wait for the Big-Time execs to call us and offer us huge contracts to star in the amazing movie we wrote. It’s simple business, Mr. Miller. I’m sure you understand being one of the more important people in Dad’s business. You probably snuck into Dad’s office late one night dressed as a very important trucker and replaced every resume with yours. When Dad read the resumes he probably exclaimed, “I want to hire this Mr. Miller gentleman and pay him one figure for each one of his resumes I have in my hand!” You’re quite crafty, Mr. Miller.
Well, I’m off to buy a blonde wig and long bow. We’ll make sure to put you in the credits as an assistant something-or-other.