Political Party Animals – Letter 1

Mr. Hornsby,

Please consider this letter an official rejection of application. We will not be considering you for the United States Presidential candidate for the Working Families Party. We thank you for your interest, but we will be searching for our candidate elsewhere.

There are a handful of reasons why your application was rejected. The main issue is your fundamental misunderstanding of our party’s beliefs. The Working Families Party’s main focus (as our website clearly explains) is to help create a more just world. A world “where politicians are held accountable to working people, instead of big-money backers.” A world “where all of us, no matter where we come from, can find a good job, get healthcare when we need it, afford a home, send our kids to good schools, and have a secure retirement.” Not, as you said in your application letter, to “put those lazy bastards back to work to sweat for the Mother-Land.”

Your campaign slogan, “The Late 1800’s Were Right,” further shows that, if you were to be running for office, you would most likely be the exact opposite of what our party is looking for in terms of appropriate candidates. I am also fairly appalled by the other slogan you included: “Children have gotten off too easy for too long, use their tiny hands to fix machinery.” At this point, Mr. Hornsby, I’m not sure if you’re joking with us or if you’re just a terrible, terrible person.

In case you have not figured this out yet, “The Working Families Party” supports the advancement of working families. We do not, as you apparently believe, wish to “turn families into mini slave-clusters.”

Please refrain from contacting us in the future. We do not wish to find out what kind of human you actually are.

Krystine Markowitz

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