Political Party Animals – Letter 3

Mr. Hornsby,

I’m not sure how you found my address, but I’ll admit that it’s a bit off-putting knowing you moved into my neighborhood specifically to exact revenge for your denial of candidacy. I do not know you very well, but I would go so far as to say that this is the most petty thing I’ve ever experienced.

As you may have found out through your discovery of my address, I am the current president of the Dorland County School District PTA. This, of course, leaves me no choice but to crush you like every other opponent from every other political party I’ve faced in the past 14 years. I have absolutely no reason to believe that the lovely people of Dorland County would wish to see a change in policy when they’ve seen a literacy increase of 12% and a 14% increase in the number of 5th grades passing their math aptitude test since I began my tenure. And I haven’t even mentioned the staggeringly profitable Bake Sales!

Although I have begun to notice your campaign posters throughout town, my constituents will surely see through your claim that “Town factory productivity will increase 15 fold” if you are elected PTA president. Yes, I’ve noticed your posters popping up throughout the town. Maybe you misunderstand the role of PTA president like you misunderstood the Working Families Party. The PTA president is in charge of the schools, not our lovely wicker basket factories.

I urge you not to continue to waste money on your campaign and save it to achieve a college degree in somthing other than politics. This is clearly a battle that can not be won, Mr. Hornsby.

Krystine Markowitz

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