I have to hand it to you, Rupert, your almost-guaranteed-to-fail Plan B seems to be working. This past week I’ve sent a handful of students home for wearing “WWJPD?” (What Would J.P. Morgan Do?) T-shirts.
What’s worse is that a group of parents have been circulating a petition to remove Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle from our reading list and replace it with Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged. While Rand’s philosophical novel is a classic, the parents claim their reason for the replacement is to, “Prevent the Red Plague from infecting our family, schools and country.” This just so happens to draw more than a few parallels with the Red Scare of the 1940’s and 50’s, a dark time in our nation’s history. I am all for students getting a fair balance of view points, but we also mustn’t take a step backwards and teach our children that those of a differing opinion are evil and out to destroy the fabric of American society.
You’ve left me no choice but to move on to my Plan B, which is posing as too-cool-for-school-but-cool-enough-to-hang-around-it-all-day Super-Senior Janet von Gams. I’ll be hanging around outside the Middle Schools, buying the 8th graders cigarettes, giving the teachers the middle finger when they tell me to stop loitering, and explaining the advantages of unions and Universal Health Care. Soon, every student will demand fair treatment of all employees and wish to go to college and have a reasonably successful career. Your plan will be foiled and I will retain my title of President of the Dorland County School District PTA.
I warned you about playing the game with me, Stryker. Now you let the tiger out of the cage. RAR!