Political Party Animals – Letter 9

Mr. Hornsby,

Don’t flatter yourself into thinking that I would even CONSIDER going to prom with you. You’re cruel, vain, and pig-headed. Not to mention your political ideals make we want to BARF! Anyway, I already have a date to prom: Brett McGregor. He’s captain of the hockey team, he blindly listens to everything I tell him about Liberal politics and his Dad lets him drive his Mustang. All I had to do was promise to buy him cigarettes for the next 2 months. A couple packs of cigarettes for the opportunity to have every student respect me and listen to my views on politics? That’s well worth it, don’t you think?

I wouldn’t worry too much about being voted prom king, Brett and I have been hard at work promoting our bid to become prom king and queen. The Working Families flyers I’ve been handing out have a little note on the bottom encouraging the student body to not only place their vote for the Working Families (when they’re old enough), but to place their vote for Janet and Brett.

Once we win, I will give my awe-inspiring speech thanking the students for their support and encouraging them to continue their education and achieve their full potential while remaining loyal to their working class roots. I’ll then hand the mic to Brett and he’ll yell “Go Ice Dawgs!” The audience will be so moved that they may go out and register Working Families right then, which is good because the PTA set up a voter-registration booth in the foyer. Your plan will be quashed and you can go back to… whatever you were doing before you had this ridiculous idea of running for president.

See you at prom. ;-)

-Ms. Janet von Gams

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2 thoughts on “Political Party Animals – Letter 9”

  1. Ah-hem. Dictionary.com defines the word “quash” as the following:
    “to put down or suppress completely; quell; subdue: to quash a rebellion. “

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